While technology is still so new, parents are trying to navigate this uncharted landscape. The amount of time we have our children in front of screens is experimental. We will only know years from now, the effect that screen time has on our children.

“Early data from a landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study that began in 2018 indicates that children who spent more than two hours a day on screen-time activities scored lower on language and thinking tests, and some children with more than seven hours a day of screen time experienced thinning of the brain’s cortex, the area of the brain related to critical thinking and reasoning.”

https://healthmatters.nyp.org/what-does-too-much-screen-time-do-to-childrens-brains/

Overall, by relying less on screen time, you are encouraging your child’s creativity, imagination, and critical thinking, helping them to explore and learn from the natural world.

But in total transparency, sometimes you want a moment to yourself and a bit of screen time can be an easy event to busy your child. If screen time falls into your lifestyle, and you feel it’s right for your toddler and family, then having an awareness of the effects and implementing parameters for it, is a part of being intentional in your parenting.

Most parents want to believe they can manage the risks of too much technology well enough but technology is so tricky and it’s inundated every facet of life so being intentional about the amount and quality of screen time granted is necessary, especially until your child is old enough to have to begin to make those choices for themselves.

In this post, I share with you the ways you can make screen time more intentional and enjoyable in the long run. It might be hard at first but by setting limits, creating and discussing plans with your toddler for when screen time is over, and engaging your child’s exploratory and creative side following screen time, you may just be able to transform this activity into one that causes less stress and anxiety for you.

Here are some ways you can work on building respectable limits around screen time and technology use in your home with a toddler and beyond.

1. Make it Habitual

Your child should know WHEN they can expect it. Routine is always comforting to a child.

Aligning screen time with specific times can help your child learn limits. Plan scheduled times in the week, such as a movie night on Friday nights for the family. You can also keep screen time set within the confines of an activity, for example, while your child gets their hair done, when eating out at a restaurant, during long car rides, during a weekly digital lesson, and many more. When and why you choose to utilize screen time is personal to you. It may work for you to offer screen time at the same short intervals daily (like 30 minutes of it every day after breakfast) or in another fashion, what’s most important is that there are set, understood, and enforced limits or parameters.

2. Before turning it on, discuss the parameters

Just as I mentioned, the parameters/ limits should be set by you and understood by your child before granting screen time.

Some things to get squared away include,

• how long will they be watching,

• what exactly your child will be watching, and

• what will you do right AFTER, so your child knows what to expect.

Read more on why this simple task of being your child’s guide and orienting them to how the day will go is important. In the time just before screen time begins, set your child up to be excited about whatever activity is to come after their screen time. When the time comes to end screen time, it will be easier to remind them of the next exciting activity you previously spoke about. There should be very little to no negotiations at the end of screen time. This isn’t easy at first but it gets easier. As long as you have regular intervals scheduled for screen time as mentioned above, you can remind your child that this time WILL come again. This will help your child with delayed gratification since, OF COURSE, they want more screen time NOW but they will manage until the next scheduled block.

3. Distract/ Redirect Attention right at the end

Give fair warnings and reminders when you are drawing near the end of screen time. “This is the last episode, and then we will do (next activity,) do you understand?” Be sure there is eye contact and a verbal response. Do this lovingly.

Be prepared to move on swiftly

When it comes time to move on, bring a child’s attention to the next event. Your child will be hesitant to leave the screen. You can let them know you understand it’s hard to move on from something they find enjoyable and then remind them that they agreed on the parameters for screen time and now the end has come, until next time.

Give them something to choose, think about, or decide

You can start with “okay my love, was that fun? We’ve got (next activity) to do, so let’s head that way now.“ then give them two options to choose from, it can be anything pertaining to your next activity.

Say your next activity is to make yogurt bowls as a snack, you can ask “.. would you like to sprinkle strawberries or blueberries in your bowl?” These options are given swiftly after telling your child it’s time to move on. You’re reminding them that you are leading but they have the freedom to make choices and everything can be fun and smooth sailing when the limits are respected.

Giving your child two options to choose from helps them to visualize themselves doing your next activity.

Another example could be that your next activity is to go outside and play so you say “.. are you going to ride your scooter or your bike?” Or “should we play soccer or basketball together?”

Be interested in what they enjoy

When you’ve begun moving to the next activity, it may be a safe time to ask your child questions about what they were watching to show them they can relive the magic, the fun, and the excitement by recreating it from their imagination and by sharing it with you.

Be interested and engaged by what they are sharing. Genuinely connect, make them laugh, be silly, reengage your child into being a human in the physical world and reengage their senses, smell, sight, touch, hearing, taste, and heart emotions through, feelings of joy, love, and warmth.

4. Thank them for using technology respectfully and responsibly

Explain to your child the situation and how great they did because now you can move on to your next thing! Don’t miss this part, they deserve a bit of praise for being responsible and exercising self-control!

Whatever you do, don’t give in to requests for more screen time or your child will not respect the original parameter setting. If you have to adjust the parameters set, do it in a way that is comfortable for you and that clearly resets what the new parameters are. It is important to keep control of technology in your household because once you let your child make the decisions, you’ve lost control completely of how they are using it and responsible use will not be a priority for them like it would be yours.

5. Follow-up Screen Time with Engaging Activities

Having a good follow-up activity is key to a successful transition away from the screen. Just think of all the beautiful things your child can do with their hands and their brains if they were just left to be creative, to ponder, to ask questions, and to explore. But plenty of times, children need help to jumpstart that creative brain after the lazy entertainment their brain just experienced from the screen.

Here are some good activities to follow up on Screen Time

• Sports drills, outside or inside

• Outside play in general

• Sensory play with water, sand, clay, etc.

• Help make their own snack

• Put on an audiobook while they clean or do a puzzle or color

• Put on music to dance to or fun engaging music like SuperSimpleSongs but just utilize the audio/not the visuals.

What are some other activities we can add to this list? Tell me what’s worked best for you, in the comments.

Other tips to implement

• Don’t physically go too far or leave your child alone with a screen for long periods

• Always/more often than not incorporate educational screen time

• Try to have a family event once a week where everyone learns to take turns watching what others want to watch

• Limit the amount of time you are on technology in front of your child

• Use a timer that your child can set’

For a child who is struggling with constant tantrums, I do not recommend screen-time at all as they will have a much harder time understanding and respecting limits.