My Faith Story

Jul 13

1994- 2011

I grew up attending catholic church on Sunday’s, Holiday’s, and Wednesdays for confirmation class when I was of age. I completed my baptism, communion, and confirmation all by the guidance of my parents. I am forever grateful to them for that beginning introduction to Christ. Although I do not remember learning much at all from those days in church, I was at least introduced to Jesus Christ and God the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Outside of the church, I was engulfed in the culture of the world. I was introduced to lewd conduct at such a young age, I cannot remember the start. I have wrestled with myself about asking for forgiveness from those I had effected in my past with this conduct but all throughout my childhood, I asked God for forgiveness as I lay in bed at night, having trouble sleeping… I prayed when I was scared, alone in the darkness and I prayed as if I was sending a word bubble to some far away, invisible, giant man in the sky.

I believed in God and I understood sinning but I was living in a home of alcoholism, experiencing wrath, pride, and gluttony. I learned at almost 30 years old that I have to forgive my parents for the upbringing they gave me. I know they tried their best and they were young and did not know. I am now closer to The Father than ever before in my life. It was a long time coming and the road back began with my husband.

2011-2014

When I met my now Husband, I was still leaving a very bad relationship with a boy who I now see was tormented by many demons. I was also possessed at the time by such demons because looking back, I do not recognize myself. I wish this on NOT ONE SOUL. I was so far from God when I graduated high school and far from my parents as well. I was isolated. I experienced depression, exhaustion, aimlessness, physical harm, emotional distress, and more. I knew deep down I was not meant for this type of living. I knew in order to find my way back, I needed to release myself from the grips of the demons holding me hostage in that relationship.

Even though I stood up for myself and got out, the journey was long, because I was visited by this troubled boy multiple times after our separation, until I filed for a restraining order. During this difficult time of trying to release myself from the grasp of the devil, I met my now Husband, Evan, and we proclaimed our love to one another just 2-3 months after meeting.

At the time, I didn’t feel I “deserved” him, and I felt like I wanted to wash myself clean. I shared all my truths with Evan before I felt comfortable and safe calling him my love. I wanted to be sure he understood all of me… After he accepted my even after hearing my sins, I trusted him and I began feeling something I hadn’t felt in a long time, PEACE.

Now I see this was God’s way of guiding me out of the darkness. By confessing all the bad and terrible and ugly, I was able to begin lifting myself away from it.

My peace didn’t last long because this is when my Immune Disease reared it’s head and no wonder because I was so distracted running in flight-and-fight mode the past few years, that when I finally felt peace in Spring of 2015, by the end of Summer 2015 my body was breaking out in rashes all over. You can read more about that in My Health Story.

Even though, Evan and I took our relationship carefully, slowly, and committed to each other, we were still not back in God’s good graces. Even though we prayed together before eating from the very first meal we shared, we had work to do.

2015-2019

I never called Evan my boyfriend because I always knew it was greater. I know it may sound dramatic to say but Evan was my savior at the time, so we became like one… and in spirit we married but not by law yet. I organized our travels around the U.S. for a 6 week long tour with a band of overall 10 people. We travelled to NY so Evan could audition for The Voice. We moved across the country from Florida to Minnesota and had our first baby boy there. We traveled to Spain and Evan visited even more places with his A’Capella group and never once did he falter in providing for our growing family. Times were hard sometimes though, I felt alone and home-less. We knew with our son here now, we needed to be together as a family and Evan had to settle down with all of his touring/traveling.

Ev asked me to officially be his wife and we moved back home to Florida.

During these years, I was searching everywhere for the answers to my purpose here on earth.

I read and learned about all kinds of religions, mindsets, astrology, alchemy, mysticism, manifesting, etc. It’s the way of the world to get lost in it. What I know now is that the truth of God is steady, unwavering, and ever-present… I just was looking for somewhere to place my faith because even though I believed in God, I didn’t know my way to him.

Through it all, I did my best to love my neighbor, exhibit humility and grace, refrain from drunkennesses, gossip and cursing, and to protect my heart. But I was lost and far from God’s truth. What got me back on the path? Again, my husband.

2020-2023

In 2020 Evan could no longer work in entertainment because no one was out having events that year. We stayed in and went down many rabbit holes, learned of many conspiracies and widened our perspective on a few things.

Being that our son was 2 yrs old by the end of 2020 and with all the craziness that was happening in the world around us, we realized how much we wanted to protect him.

We saw more and more through the deceit and the culture until we realized we were staring right at the ultimate plan for evil: To corrupt young minds early to steer them away from the One True God.

It is a spiritual war and we thought, it’s exactly what happened to us when we were younger and that’s how we got so far from God.

Wrapping our identities up in the world, products, brands, technology, habits and hobbies of other non-believers… basically anything to distract us from the truth of the Light of the World.

Now seeing more clearly where we were misguided, we vowed to not let it happen to our kids. Something clicked and we saw our guiding light again.

We moved from the busy city to an upcoming city that quickly became busy as well. But we loved our new place because we “bought” a house in 2022 and slowly continued getting closer to God, praying and asking for awareness of his presence.