8 Simple Tips For Stress-Free Bedtime With Your Toddler
Getting your toddler to bed without fuss can feel impossible and even give you anxiety leading up to the time.
When every night feels like a battle there’s a simple solution to help get your little one down more peacefully: create a routine.
Establishing a consistent sequence of events, ideally beginning 1.5 hours before actual sleep time, can help to walk your toddler gently to bedtime, instead of rush them while you’re feeling overwhelmed and done with the day.
This article will explain why a bedtime routine is so important for toddlers, as well as provide tips for creating and maintaining a successful routine.
By setting up a bedtime routine, you can feel confidence and relaxed after having an evening without constant toddler resistance, big blowups, or tantrums.
“Sprunger, Boyce, and Gaines (1985) found that mothers of infants felt more competent and satisfied with their parenting role if they also reported regular household routines”
The more organized we are, the more competent we feel as parents. That confidence helps our children trust and rely on our direction which makes guiding them feel effortless.
All of this gives us more time at the end of the day to breathe deeply and feel gratitude.
8 TIPS FOR A SMOOTHER BEDTIME ROUTINE
Here are my 8 tips for a smoother bedtime routine that I have found work in my household:
1. DIM THE LIGHTS
Use dimmer lighting in your home as it gets later in the day. Having bright fluorescent lighting artificially illuminating our surroundings confuses our body’s natural circadian rhythm. To help foster healthier sleep and create more cues for bedtime, use more natural, orange, and dimmer lighting as the day nears bedtime. Opt for incandescent bulbs, lamps, and dimmers.
2. START EARLY
Start referencing (in your language and communication) bedtime 1.5 hours before your target sleep time. You can use a routine chart to help your child visually see their schedule and to help them feel like an active part of their daily rhythm and transitions. I usually begin alerting my child that bedtime is approaching just before we eat dinner. I remind them of our next steps following dinner so they are prepared and there is no surprise.
3. SHUT DOWN DEVICES
Turn off and put away devices 1 hour or more before bedtime. Blue light and digital animation on screens keep our brains firing. Even if our bodies are tired, our brains will have a hard time shutting off and powering down if there are screens on.
4. REVIEW THE DAY TOGETHER
As you move closer to bedtime, talk about your day. Ask your child what their favorite part of the day was, where they feel they could improve, or even if there is something they still feel sad about or would like an apology for.
5. PLAN FOR TOMORROW
Remind them that bedtime means they are closer to something they might be looking forward to. Talking about what your plans are for the next day is helpful because it gives your toddler a reason to sleep, so they can be closer to some excitement that is to come tomorrow!
6. FOLLOW THE PLAN
Our plan includes dinner, locking the doors, turning on outside lights, tidying up, showering, pajamas, brushing teeth, and storytime. Whatever YOUR bedtime routine includes, follow it in the order that works for you that night, and over time, your toddler will know what to expect and they might surprise you by completing some of the tasks on their own. Bedtime tasks can be personalized to your family but having them as a part of the nightly routine will help to build executive functioning skills in your toddler, increase their capabilities and confidence, and hopefully tire them out, as classical conditioning tells us that cues trigger the same responses over time. This means, as your toddler moves through their bedtime routine, their body will naturally remember that sleep is coming and begin preparing for it and powering down.
7. GET OUT EXTRA ENERGY
Allow your toddler the ability to let out any leftover energy from the day. This could look like racing to see who can clean up the most toys, or offer them a wipe to wipe the table clean from dinnertime, and see if you can clean the counter off before they finish.
The key is to keep it fun and engaging as these are the last waking moments your toddler has with you.
Another idea is to “shake out the sillies.” Give your toddler a timer of 5 minutes and let them shake, dance and bounce their body with free abandon (without getting hurt of course) but this exercise is currently being studied as a way for people of all ages to calm their mind and their nervous system.
“By shaking your body for 15 minutes, you can calm your body after a long day. Shaking activates the parasympathetic nervous system and signals the brain to calm, relax, and let go,” says Roopali Shrivastava, counseling psychologist.
8. MODEL THE ROUTINE
It’s an immense help when you can model the actions you want your toddler to take part in. For example, brush your teeth alongside them, clean or tidy up alongside them, and even lay down when you want them to lie down. This is not always possible since there are a ton of things on your to-do list BUT when you can slow down and model the routine instead of just directing, you will see a major difference in your toddler’s willingness to follow through with their bedtime routine.
YOU GOT THIS!
A successful bedtime routine for your toddler is essential for a good night's sleep and with consistency and understanding, you can create a bedtime routine that leads to a successful night's rest for everyone.
For transparency, we co-sleep and have done so since the birth of our first, 4 and half years ago. We now have a baby and toddler who share our bed. I intend on taking steps in the future to give them their own space but as of now, do not ask me how to move your baby to their own bed because I have never done it. I think if I were to move my child to their own bed, I would do it this way.
Our sleep hygiene and habits may totally differ from yours but I think by incorporating even some of these tips towards your toddler’s bedtime, you’ll be surprised that you have more time to breathe at the end of your day. Good luck and happy sleeping!
Reference
Sachdev, G. (2022, February 25). Shake your body to Shoo away the stress, suggests expert. Healthshots. Retrieved March 14, 2023, from https://www.healthshots.com/mind/mental-health/shake-your-body-to-shoo-away-the-stress-suggests-expert/
Spagnola, M., & Fiese, B. H. (2007). Family Routines and Rituals A Context for Development in the Lives of Young Children. Wolters Kluwer Health; Infants & Young Children. https://depts.washington.edu/isei/iyc/20.4_spagnola.pdf
